Sunday, September 24, 2006
What day is itBOOO. im stil not sleeping, im not sleepy plus theres school tmr. Gosh, i'll have a hard time waking up tmr :/ im not feeling very well, many things are running through my mind and im feeling down ): i dont know whats happening now, i feel irritated w myself and its as if i cant wait t kill myself. Im trying t get all these shit thats bugging me out of my head but it aint easy at all. Its like somebody suffocating me and the feelings super terrible. I feel like shit. ): Having t see my bestie whos gna breakdown anytime makes me really sad, i really dont know what t do. Seeing her crying and drinking all her sorrows really make my heartache. I wna lend her my shoulder t cry on and i wna lend her a listening ear, i want t make her happy. We've overcomed many difficulties and even fights/quarrels, but now shes feeling so down because of somethings makes me feeling even down. Plus, i've disappointed nats,jiaying,sam,flea,jamie,yolanda,minghan and many many more people by cutting myself really makes me guilty, knowing that i have all these GREATEST FRIENDS t care f me and love me. But i still disappointed them. ): I feel really useless. Gosh, i wna get all these shit feelings out of me, cos its making me feeling annoyed and irritated w myself.
im suffocating in silence